6.11.2009
So yeah, two days ago I was in a pretty bad accident. my fault, the other driver wasnt badly injured maybe bruised a little, as far as I know, but the car i was driving #1 wasn't mine, and #2 was so badly damaged that it had to be towed... If I'd have been going 5 mi faster, she woulda t-boned me and it would've been Game Over... but I walked outta there with a few burns and scrapes from the airbags, and a concussion i didnt diagnose until midday the next day... for those of you hat don't know, you're not supposed to sleep with a concussion... brain swelling and possible fatality and all that jazz... I realized that I'm being kept alive... for reasons i cannot wrap my head around... and it's scary, and awe-inspiring, and confusing all at the same time...
By many standards, I should be worse off. Dead maybe. I was the idiot 19-year-old who refused a hospital visit after both airbags deployed in a head on collision. No drugs. no alcohol. I was the sucker who slept 6hrs and still woke up unknowing that she had a concussion the whole time and shoulda ended up as worm food for her stubborness...
I was protected from worse injury. I am still sheltered by people who've adopted me as family, despite one of thier cars being wrecked by me... And I am ever so blessed, because all of them were more worried about me than they were the car... I'm here for a reason. my hands and feet and arms still work. my lungs still draw breath, my thoughts are cohesive and clear. my heart still beats. my soul still prays. what am i meant to be, i wonder?